Fanfiction

Begin Again (NielHwan)

A fanfiction by @2m37cm

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Hwan saw his reflection in front of the mirror, smoothing his jacket. He took a deep breath and then put on his sneakers. He put his cellphone in his jacket pocket. Not forgetting to lock the door of his apartment, he walked slowly. Hwan thinks Niel will come late, but he sees the man standing by his car while waving to him. A smile adorned the man's face. A smile that Hwan hasn't seen for a long time.

"Sorry, did you wait so long?”

"No. Let's go in,"

Niel opened the car door.

The weather was so bright as the atmosphere in Niel's car. Radio sound doesn't interrupt their chat. The laughter of both of them mixed into pleasant tones. Hwan hasn't felt this for a long time.

"X café?"

"It's been a long time, right?"

Hwan nodded. There, where he and Niel met for the first time. At that time Hwan was a part-time worker while Niel was a regular customer. But eight months ago, they never went there again.

Niel pulled one of the chairs and invited Hwan to sit.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Hm.."

"What do we usually order?"

"You mean, you?"

"Haha.. yeah I mean, what I usually order."

Hwan laughed. The usual chatter, but his stomach was full of butterflies flying. The sweet smell of vanilla and strawberry bursts.

They remember the past. When they were together in a relationship. They cannot deceive each other's feelings that those moments are a wonderful time they have had.

"Do you remember when we first dated?"

"You mean, ‘accident’ in the playground?"

Niel laughed, his face when he laughed was like a kid. Niel is always like this.

"You remember when we were..."

"At that time, weren't we..."

"No, no, it's you, not me..."

Hwan felt the sweetness of the drink he ordered, it’s different from the taste of the drink eight months ago when he and Niel visited the café for the last time. It feels so bitter.

Tears filled Niel's eyes because he laughed too much.

That's what Niel likes from Hwan. The man in front of him can make him laugh all day without stop. He missed Hwan. And now, he saw that man again after all this time.

"Niel, I have to go to the toilet.."

Niel nodded. When Hwan left, he saw an empty chair in front of him. The same situation as eight months ago, when Hwan left him alone there.

Eight months ago, when Niel felt his world was destroyed when Hwan left with another man. Eight months ago, he promised he would never meet Hwan again and forget about it. But now he is with Hwan, sitting in the same café where they first met until the last time they went there, eight months ago.

__

"I’m tired,"

"Hwan.."

"We're over. You don't need me anymore, nor do I.”

"I still need you. Really, please Hwan. "

"I don't want to force our feelings anymore. When everything goes to the end, everything ends."

"Please, don't leave me."

"You and I are both tired, right? You've been ignoring me lately.. no.. it's been two months you've ignored me intentionally. I'm tired, Niel.. "

"I don't ignore you, no-- I tried to eliminate this feeling of boredom."

"Yeah, you’re bored when spend your time with me, so we better end it,"

"No. I don’t want to,"

"Then what did you get after two months of ignoring me? Is your boredom gone? Tell me,"

Niel was silent.

"You have another man, aren’t you?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's clear that you have found another man, right?"

"Don't change our conversation,"

"Then, who is the guy waiting for you out there?"

Hwan turned when Niel's fingers pointed someone in the car. Hwan’s senior at university.

"He's just a senior,"

"When I was trying to get rid of my boredom, you went with another man. Am I wrong?"

Hwan was silent. "I need someone by my side, not someone who ignores me,"

Hwan stood up, took his cellphone and left the café. Niel saw the chair in front of him empty. Hwan left him.

­­__

"Niel?"

Niel saw Hwan who had sat back in his chair. Hwan sipped his vanilla and smiled at Niel. They continued their chat about Hwan's favorite soccer team, or Niel who still often skateboarded.

"Did you remember when you wrote song for us?"

"You mean that ‘messed’ song?”

"Well, I think that’s the song I like the most,"

Hwan looked at Niel who smiled at him. His memory returned as they sat in Niel's car while listening to the song on the radio.

__

"Why don't we have our song?"

"Do you want me to make it?"

Niel nodded. Hwan looked at the street in front of him.

"I don't think I can find some good words right now,"

"It doesn't need to be good, I just want us to have our own song,"

Hwan tapped on the dashboard with his fingers, trying to find inspiration. Suddenly Niel,

"How about this.."

Hwan turned his gaze to Niel who enthusiastically wanted to express his opinion.

"The song about me picking you up quietly in the middle of the night, then when you knock on the window of my car, and we go far from your house without getting caught... about every night you always call me in a whispering voice for fear of getting caught by your mother.."

Niel laughed, Hwan hit his arm.

Song about him and Niel. The song was ringing in Hwan's head, when he heard Niel's laughter, when he remembered the first time they were dating, they should have kissed but they actually did something stupid in the playground.

And when Niel drove him home late at night, and a kiss made Hwan's heart almost explode.

He took a pen and paper in his bag. Hwan wrote their song.

__

It doesn't feel they've spent hours in the café. They dissolved in remembrance and told stories about events in the past. When Niel put down his fourth cup, he looked at Hwan.

"I'm really happy to be able to meet and chat with you again,"

Hwan can’t say anything.Will they go home soon? Does Niel mean to contact him to inform that he is now happy without Hwan?

Hwan was nervous. He doesn't want the time to end now. He wanted to be with Niel, chat with that man. Hwan realized that he had spent eight months feeling forced. In fact, Hwan couldn’t do anything without Niel by his side.

__

Hwan came out of the café and entered his senior car. He turned to see Niel still sitting in his chair. Hwan cried. His senior tried to cheer him up.

"I thought he would stop me when I went out.. I-"

Hwan had no choice but to establish a relationship with his senior. He thought his senior could replace Niel in his life. But everything got worse when Hwan broke up with Niel.

"Wait, why did you change the song?"

"I don't like this song."

Hwan can't argue, even their tastes are far different, his senior just showed his original nature after Hwan was no longer in relationship with Niel, so far he was so eager to steal Hwan's attention because Niel was in Hwan's side, but when Hwan broke up, his interest in Hwan was reduced.

"I don't like you wearing this.."

"What are you doing?"

"You're really weird.."

His senior’s words were so painful for Hwan. But even Niel never commented about it.

This is wrong. Hwan doesn't feel happy at all. He can't laugh like he was with Niel.

"Let's break up,"

"What?"

"I think you love me,"

"I really love you,"

"Stop, I'm sick of your attitude.."

His senior laughed.

"Are you sorry now to break up with Niel?"

Hwan was silent because he’s angry.

"Well, if you want to break up, okay.. I don't think Niel even wants to see your face again,"

Hwan slapped his senior's face and left him.

He spent eight months in vain. Eight months he held back his feelings. Eight months ago he hurt Niel. Eight months later he received his punishment.

But suddenly a message coming. From Niel.

[Can you meet me on Wednesday?]

Hwan's hands trembled. He wants to meet Niel. At least, once again, he wants to meet Niel.

__

"Are we going to go home?"

"Do you want to go home now?"

Hwan shook his head. He looked down, looked at the table filled with vanilla cups he had finished. He didn’t want time to pass, he wanted to sit with Niel.

"Hwan,"

Hwan looked up, he saw Niel's face.

"Let’s go home.."

Hwan still sat quietly in his chair. He doesn't want to go home now. He should have been grateful to see Niel again, right? It was he who left Niel eight months ago, then what did he expect?

Hwan's hands trembled.

"After this, can I still meet you? As a friend? "

Niel sighed.

"Hwan, I guess you're mistaken. I invite you to meet, because I think we can start again. Did you know? I’ve spent the past eight months thinking that all love ever does is end. But today, here, I think I watched it begin again, don’t you think so?" then he continued,

"I heard you have no contact with your senior anymore, so I think it's time for me to take you back."

Hwan tried to digest Niel's words.

"Will you start again with me, Hwan? I can't live without you, I want you, I want us to come back together, "

Tears fell on Hwan's cheek, Niel panicked. Hwan closed his mouth with his hands and whispered,

"I'm really sorry, eight months ago I regretted my words so much, I know I can't without you but I'm so selfish,"

Niel pulled Hwan's hand and held it,

"What’s past is past, let's continue with the new page, hm?"

Hwan nodded.

They came out together from the café, holding hands. When away from the café, Hwan didn’t see Niel's figure eight months ago there, but he felt his hand warmly gripped by that man beside him. If destiny wants them to be together, then whatever will happen, they will continue together till the end.

"Let's do our first date, but this time must worked,"

Hwan laughed.

"Yeah, it must worked."

Fin.

I’ve deleted the first one, but because I’m so excited abt Hwan’s debut song, so here Begin Again. Actually this is from TS’s song with the same tittle ‘Begin Again’, I hope you enjoyed ^^ happy reading and don’t forget to leave a comment if you don’t mind. Ily.